I know that people will just come and go yet you are someone special who marked extremely in my soul. And only, you dug a hole in my heart by the time you left.
Maybe you’re not meant to stay. However the memories we shared, I will treasure forever and be delighted to reminisce those one day.
Before this relationship come to the point of it’s limit and inexistence, I still have this bottle of thoughts that I need to pour out. How I wish I could say this to you in person, or maybe I can, but not all.
Honestly I don’t know where to start, but within me I just wanna say first, I’M SORRY. Because I have hurt you more than I know and I have abandoned you when you needed me the most. I should be your one call away friend but somehow I ceased from picking up my phone. I promised to be someone you can always count on, I was not. I was your friend and I should be taking care of you, but how can I, if during that moment, I was bleeding too. We are supposed to be best friends, but perhaps, it’s for our best if our vestiges are far of sight from one another.
You know I often MISS US – I miss us doing extreme conversations of stuffs which sometimes even us can’t comprehend at all, but naaaahhh… we just wanna talk and talk until our mouth get sore. Sometimes I think it’s insane to be with you, it doesn’t matter because it’s fun, right? In each other’s company, we are so comfortable; you and me, being true to ourselves. I miss how our worlds collide and high-rolling fun we always bring about.
What happened to us? Maybe, I was hurt too? Do you think I can use that excuse to forgive me and just accept my sorry to you? Though I still have these questions of regrets, I just choose to look at the bright side of our situation. That I am a better person now, because I came to know and after I met you.
In this particular point of our friendship made me realized that even when we are apart, we can still be happy with the person that we are with – to love them, as much or more than we loved each other. To care for them and not take them for granted. Showing and telling them how much they really mean to us just like treating them like our own sisters/brothers. And knowing that the love and care we have for them conquers all limits and expectations.
I know I can’t ask you to forgive me that instant or force you to trust me again. Maybe you have forgiven me already but it still hurts everytime you see me. I can’t magic the present to bring back what’s before, but I pray to God to mend our shattered soul and glued back the broken pieces of our hearts; putting us fresh and right mindset about friendships/relationships, and giving us hope once again to trust people to enter into our lives, to love them with all our hearts and trust them with everything that we are.
This made me come to think the reality of life in this world: NO ONE STAYS even your closest(except God ofcourse). We all have to leave from a place to another place, whether or no, regardless of the people and situation we will encounter. And if I’ll not move because I’m no longer with you, how can I take a step forward and finish my own journey? You are still dear to me, your name I have already engraved in my heart and mind. And this will truly remain till my lifetime. I’m perhaps just considered a close friend in some time of your season but I believed that our path intertwined for reason.
Yes, nothing stays, but one thing about us will never change – you made me one of your closest friends. And that’s something I can and will cherish forever.